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This is not the time or place for us to speak like this. [entries|friends|calendar]
ameh.

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lookit me [04 Nov 2016|03:29pm]

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[29 Jun 2015|01:41pm]

Hahahaha i dreamt he told me he wasnt really dead last night.

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[19 Jun 2015|04:43pm]
i wish i cared about something.
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Here's a tattoo I'm super proud of. [26 May 2015|06:34pm]
#deathbat yo.  foREVer.
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[16 Jul 2012|07:45pm]
I miss you so much.
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Dreams can't all be real. [23 May 2012|05:51am]
[ mood | loved ]

Ghost On The Dance Floor breaks my fucking heart.  I can't put into words what that song means to me.

The first time I heard it, I couldn't even close my mouth.  I just sat there, jaw on the fucking ground, unable to form words, unable to form THOUGHTS.  I had chills everywhere, and I couldn't even breathe.

It's not only the fact that this is the first album my favourite band in the whole world has put out in years.  Believe me, I was fangirling about that when I first started playing the album.

It's so much more than that with this song.  It's absolutely everything I feel, it's every thought I have in my head when I'm trying to fall asleep at night, it's every thought I have in the morning after waking up from the same dream.  This song is my emotions, given words and put to music.

When I first got Neighborhoods, I was stupidly excited.  I turned off every light in my room, I turned my phone off, and I put my headphones on.  Ghost On The Dance Floor started off the album.  The first verse pretty much slapped me in the face.  I stopped fangirling.  I stopped screaming, I stopped squealing, I stopped fucking breathing.  Every word hit me square in the chest, and then..

Then God invented chills.

Every single time I listen to it, that line gets me.  That line gives me chills like nothing I've ever felt before.  You will never see me sit through this song without goosebumps everywhere.

When I saw blink-182 last year in Dallas, they played this song.  You hear about those people crying at concerts, and you think in your head, "What a dumbass."  Yeah, well fuck you.  I was in tears when they played Ghost On The Dance Floor.  I set my camera down, and I stood there.  I fucking stood there, staring at Tom as he sang.  This song pierced through me and surrounded me, and I just cried.  It was not pretty.  There I was - sweaty, makeup running down my face, hair pulled back and stuck to my forehead, tears pouring out of my eyes, sobbing.  It was gross.

Nothing in the world has ever felt more perfect.

People ask me all the time why blink-182 is my favourite band.  I have a number of answers, a number of reasons, but when it gets right down to it.. I love blink-182 because of songs like this.  Songs like Ghost On The Dance Floor prove that no other band gets me like blink does.  They got me when I was younger, they broke up, they got back together, and then they got me on a totally different level.  blink-182 grew up with me.  blink-182 is a part of me.

My pants are off right now.
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Your smile fades in the summer. [25 Mar 2012|08:04am]
[ mood | happy ]



Everyday, I realize more and more how much I'll never regret these tattoos.
They mean so much to me.

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I found out the truth is it's all a big lie. [10 Mar 2012|09:41am]
[ mood | awake ]



blink-182 tattoo appreciation. :3
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[30 Jan 2012|05:17am]
I miss you so much that it physically hurts.  How is that possible?
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Are we alone? Do you feel it? [04 Jan 2012|01:13am]
[ mood | restless ]

Letting go is something I really need to learn how to do this year.

Typically, it's not a hard thing to do.  I can let go of most things rather easily.
Most people, too, as we've seen recently.
Quite honestly, letting go of things isn't a problem for me at all.  I can let go of anything the moment I decide to do it.

It's just a matter of deciding to let go.

Some things I just can't make myself give up on.  I feel like I would lose who I am, I would lose any sense of knowing where I came from.
It's keeping me from letting myself get fully involved in anything else, though.  I always keep a safe distance.  I always keep it so I can let go of anything else easily.
While that seems like a good idea, it's really taking its toll on any relationship I try to have with anyone.  Not romantic relationships, just any sort of relationship.
I can't lose myself in it.  I can't let down this wall and get close to anyone else like I used to.

It gets old, you know?  Hearing people tell you that you don't open up and they don't feel like they know you.
It's the truth.  That's the shitty part.
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This is where I belong. [30 Dec 2011|07:34am]
[ mood | hopeful ]

I miss you.

Every single day.  Not a day goes by that I don't spend entirely too much time thinking about you.
Even after all this time.
You're in most of the dreams I have, still.  I don't have much left of you these days, you know?  So I hold those dreams close.
I hold the memories closer, though.

It's strange.  Sometimes, they make me happier than you'd believe.  Other times, it's just so sad.
Stranger still is the fact that knowing you is what restores my faith in humanity.  Holding on and feeling as deeply as I do about you makes me think other people are capable of feeling this way, too.
It's a nice reminder, and I really need it sometimes.

Thanks to you, I know what it is to love someone unconditionally.
Not because I have to.  Not because of what you can do for me.  Hell, I haven't talked to you in too fucking long.
It's because I know you.  It's who you are.

To be honest, I'm glad I just got to know you.  I'm glad I met you, because I learned a lot from you.
You helped me learn who I am.  You helped shape me.
You taught me what love is.
I could never thank you enough for that.

..Goodness, I miss you so much, you fucking jerk. >:|
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This is all you need to know about me. [26 Dec 2011|09:45am]

I fucking love blink-182.

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Closure. [15 Sep 2011|07:15pm]
An ocean of salt, enough to fill with tears I never cried for you.
A memory forgotten, a soul lost.
Drink in the sunlight as the sun sets on your eyesight.
The maggots come in from the ground.
Can you hear the waves breaking?
That was all I heard that night.
Water, water, how many times did I look for you there?
You were never there, and I'm alone.
Don't frown as I fill your shoes; you know she needed it.
Every place needs to be taken, no matter who it hurts.
As the sun rises over diamonds, accept that we were hurt, too.
Golden beginnings, just know I don't look for your reflection anymore.

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I'd like to hold you sometime. [29 Jul 2011|08:00am]
[ mood | loved ]

 


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I miss you every single fucking day. [27 Mar 2011|04:41pm]
[ mood | nostalgic ]




Clouds swallow the moon, and I'm alone
Thinking good times
and
Why'd they go?

RIP ♥
ineedyoupleasecomeback
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Day 1: A picture of yourself with 10 facts. [08 Mar 2011|10:06pm]


 

~ I prefer to go by ameh rather than Amy.
~ Born on the first day under Scorpio, I have a lotttt of Libra traits.
~ I smoke Marlboro Reds. I highly enjoy them.
~ blink-182 is my favourite band, even over The Beatles.
~ I'm allergic to the adhesive on most things, like bandaids and tape.
~ Love rain, love water, yet bridges over water almost cause panic attacks everytime.
~ I write, I draw, and I like colourful music.
~ Over 11 years of my life have been spent on IRC. This is rather sad.
~ I hate kids.
~ School isn't hard for me, I just lack the motivation to get my homework done until the last day.

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Fucking chills. Everywhere. [01 Feb 2011|12:36am]
 
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[24 Jan 2011|08:29am]
 
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Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me? [21 Jan 2011|04:28am]
[ mood | thankful ]



And it's okay if you had to go away..


Oh, just remember the telephones..
Well, they work in both ways.
But if I never ever hear them ring..

If nothing else, I'll think the bells inside
Have finally found you someone else, and
that's okay.


'Cause I'll remember everything you sang.


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[16 Jan 2011|12:05pm]


 

This is what my nightmares are made of.

Melting flesh, walls that contort and turn into liquid;
Colour fading into a sea of black fluid.


Only, it's darkness, and it's everywhere.
The walls, the air, their faces..
Familiar faces warp and liquify.
Distorted with agony.
They grab me, suffocating any life out of me.
Sink over me, into me, of me, with me; lines blur.
Drip, writhe, morph, flow - consume.
Everything melts into evil.

Even me.

And I wake up in tears, frantic, trying so hard to scream.
I'm terrified of sleeping.

 
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